last nite was another fridae fun.. haha.. went down chinatown wif karen.. met XB, jason, ronald n nick.
alisa n frankie came after dat to haf dinner at the market. Lala joined us after our dinner.. hmm.. dinner was
soo yummy.. the dinner cost bout 100plus wor.. we went to amara hotel "walls street" pub for a drink..
surprisingly we all had cocktails n coffee.. ahah.. no beer on a fridae nite wor.. :P
we played "true or dare" n "numbers in between".. we all enjoyed the game.. ahah.. xb n me laugh the loudest wor.. :P
stoopid xb dare me to kiss the uncle at the bar counter.. -_-" they were so surprise dat i realli walked over n kiss him.. ahahah
must be sporty marhz.. =P ltr part of the game, frankie gena a dare from me to walk out of the pub n dance.
ahhaha.. dat's real farni siaz.. we laff till pengz.. hmm..

the whole session ended ard 12plus.. lala,jason,alisa n ronald left in frankie's car.. karen n nick
walk off to get a cab.. xb pei me go take mrt together.. we walked to the station, it was close.. arrghhh....
we got no choice but to take cab le.. heez.. she sent me home first cuz i've got no money.. she got off the cab wif me at my hse..
she's suppose to wait for her bro to come fetch her.. but in the end, something crop up.. n she left in a cab..
hmm.. i watch her go off without her noticing..
cuz she ask me to go home first.. but i stayed somewhere to watch over her.. i dun lyk to see her alone.. somemore so late le
but i noe i haffa leave her alone cuz she was on the fone.. i hide by the lift there.. awhile ltr, i din hear her voice le.. i faster came out
from my "hiding place" i walk to the stairs n saw her in the cab.. hmm.. she's gone.. i stayed on till she's out of sight den i went home.

last nite realli enjoyed myself wor.. heez.. sooooo fun..

last nite went bugis wif alisa for hair cut.. eh.. wasn't me who went for hair cut.. its alisa.. heez.. she cut
damn short siaz.. wif a long tail at the back.. look kinda wierd *shurd*
after dat met terranna for dinner.. left home ard 9plus ba.. soo tired.. me happi wor.. cuz i bought "peel"
yeah.. the cig smell so nice.. finalli found it after lyk a month..
came home ard 10plus n was on msn chat wif XB, ron n ghost.. hmm..
xb sounded kinda vexxed.. dunno wad happen to her..
actualli i was thinking if wad alisa said was true.. she told me ytd dat if a person lyks u, but u dun lyk her/him,
n dat person treats u damn nice, u'll feel kinda "fang gan" hmm.. pissed off i tink.. she's actualli refering to herself..
n if so happen dat xb ytd oso kinda sounds so vexxed.. i decided to jus leave her alone.. ytd made her a cup of honey..
heez 1st time make honey for her wor.. cuz she got a sore throat.. hmm..

anyway i've thought over the nite... tink i've made up my mind le.. i choose to let go.. but i'll alwaiz be there for her
whenever she needs me to lend a listening ear.. hmm..

[F][O][R] [X][B]
============
Met her for the first time on 1st Jun 04.. din felt anything.
She seems lyk a stranger to me -
An ordinary ger wif extra loud voice..

Time flew pass with amazing speed.
A month's gone.. Feelings came unexpectedly.
Started missing her whenever she's not around.
Wondered to myself..
How did i fall in love with you

She start confiding to me.
Telling me her problems.
Tried to be there for her.
Try not to add on burden to her bout my feelings

She's facing lotsa problem..
She can't solve them..
She cried.. I felt helpless..
Wad can i do..

I wished i can tell her..
Let me share ur burden n sorrows..
I wished i can tell her..
I want u to be mine..
Something's stopping me..
I can't find the words..

I noe its impossible..
Who is she.. Who am i..
She's a straight..

Another month passed..
I start showing her i dun feel for her.
Dun wish to make her feel pressurized
I tried hard..
I still can hear her voice inside me.
Tears swell up deep within my heart.

This love, memories..
I'll keep within myself..
She's an angel i've known

me woke up at 2plus in the afternoon today siaz.. ytd went beach wif xb n her son, lala n her bf,jason,frankie,alisa n ronald.. we went there sun tanning.. in the end onli me,ron n frankie sun tanning.. ahah.. the other sitting under the shade.. hmm.. her son bery cute.. call me "meatball" somemore.. *gggrrrhhh* cannot blame.. ahha.. got cute mom of cuz got cute son.. he called frankie "botak uncle" ahahah.. worse than me.. :P

ard 3plus 4, they left.. me walk down towardsbedok jetty to meet adeline n her bf ah boon.. hmm.. was kinda wierd cuz the 2 of them couple.. den me alone.. hmm was thinking of meeting them le den go off.. but after that we went to hawker n get some drinks.. den ah boon suggest going kbox.. i was lyk.. huh.. wah.. i jus went ktv session on fri.. wif all my colleagues to celebrate karen's birthday..

hmm.. i called xb ask if she's going.. she said ok.. after she wake up den call me.. diaox.. tis piggy slept till 8plus 9 wor.. hmm.. noe she must be bery tired.. was kinda disappointed thou.. but nvm lah.. she lack of sleep le.. better stay at home n rest.. :) hmm.. yeah.. was tinking if tml got breakfast.. hahah.. so fast.. tml monday again le wor.. oh no.. karen wun be ard wor.. cuz its her birthday.. heez..

so xian.. my birthday is on sun.. gonna be a boring day mann..

yeah.. last nite chat wif annie,xb,ron n apple on msn.. rush home first thing online le wor.. heez.. cuz kinda got tis feeling dat she's there.. hmm.. she onli had 2 cup of the small maggie mee for dinner.. diaox.. ltr at nite sure search for chips to eat de.. heez..
ytd she keep laughing over john tay's "sai suan".. ahhah.. she laff bery cute.. thou her voice damn loud.. but still cute.. hahah.. nvm.. -_-"

hmm.. was chatting on msn wif her in pte.. den i went to ask her if i'll be getting breakfast.. she reply "of coz.. ai xin breakfast.. hahahahaah" diaox.. -_-"""" so paiseh.. wah... *face red*
when i told her its ok.. i dowan the breakfast le.. heez. she replied me "steady! offer u.. u reject.. sob sob.. no more offer le.." ahhah.. so cute.. she first time put "sob sob" wor.. she alwaiz sound so fierce de.. heez..

13^smiley

yeah.. me back le.. hmm went kbox wif adeline jus now.. suppose to meet jasper at town.. but called her at 5plus n she sound as if she sleeping.. diaox.. anyway me meeting adeline at tp. so called to tell jasper not meeting her.. luckily neba meet her siaz.. if not dunno meet wad time le.. hmm

me went dinner wif annie at sakae.. den wait for adeline to come come after her dinner.. we went kbox.. so qiao.. xb oso going there.. diaox.. she's there wif her frens.. saw her in a room.. stoopid adeline during the song, wanna go washroom den "shun bian" walk past to see how xb look lyk.. haha.. but she ah gon walk.. see oso dunno howta see properly.. diaox.. hmm.. had fun in the room.. we alwaiz had fun singing alone.. playing stoopid songs.. hahah..
today drunk 1 1/2mug beer n wine.. was lyk so "seh".. whole face turn red.. luckily manage to reach home siaz..

today xb saw my blog.. -_-" sooo malu.. wrote so much things bout her.. n all my feelings.. nvm.. dun tink she'll come read again.. heez.. tis morning din wan her get breakfast for me.. cuz dowan her waste money.. so in the end i had maggie mee.. but when she came work, she brought sausage n mushroom.. yummy.. my 2 fav. food.. regret neva ask her make breakfast for me.. ayway she offered me 1 mushroom n sausage.. yum yum.. today happi.. she bought for us lotsa chicken wings.. i bought a potato ball for her wor.. cuz its nice.. hmm.. tonite din see her online.. dunno she got drink the soup when she hungry not.. n neva ask her how's her backache.. tml see her in office den ask her ba.. ltr keep asking she say i naggy.. she's the obasan le.. how can i be obasan hor.. so cannot be so naggy.. ;P

13 happi..

last nite chat wif her till bout 2am on msn wor.. first time chat wif her at nite for bout 2 hours.. heez.. when she came online, i was shock n happi wor.. was missing her.. den suddenly she come in le.. =P last week oso lidat.. was missing her den she suddenly ask if i wanna go out on her birthday eve... hmm.. too bad neva go watch the fireworks.. remember last yr i went watch wif my str8 fren adeline.. noe her for 6yrs.. first time watch together wor.. somemore the fireworks caught us by surprise.. we din even noe there's one dat nite.. heez..

woke up late n came to work late tis morning.. she bought me fried bee hoon wif luncheon meat n egg wor.. yum.. i luv luncheon meat.. heez.. ate soo full siaz.. she realli wan me to become meat ball ar.. -_-"
hmm.. oh ya.. meat ball is my nick.. ahha.. cuz os the stoopid show "qiang wei zi lian" dat's how my nick came about..

today bery busi siaz.. my workload seems to be so pack.. one after another.. today.. i tried making transhipment booking.. heez.. ok lah.. not as difficult as i thought.. though i tried b4 few yrs ago.. but forget le.. heez..

now is alreadi 6.15pm le.. feel lyk slacking.. my brain shut down le.. *yawn*
today fag alot siaz.. hmm.. feel lyk going pasir ris park there sit n relax.. but dun tink anyone wil be going.. dey'll tink i'm siao siaz.. hahah.. starting of the week go there..

hmm.. tis morning valerie [61] suddenly msg me say i gave her the wrong indication.. she ask me to gif her another chance n dat she'll change.. lyk wad the hell lor.. after she did so many thing, den she say its actualli to gif me a taste of my own medicine cuz i choose to leave her for XB.. anyway i alreadi make myself clear to her.. no matter wad i wun go back.. i dun wish to be hurt again by her.. my trust towards her is totally gone.. i dun wish to be wif her n lyk another.. i've to make a desicion.. somemore the things she did in the past realli pissed me off.. i see no reason to continue wif her..

hmm.. tired le.. dun feel lyk blogging..

13^pissed.

soo bored today.. hmm.. ytd kinda boring though played a whole day of billard n pool.. i guess dat's where i find myself.. indulging in pool n billards.. at least i wun fall for the wrong person when i'm indulge in them.. haiz.. tml i've to gif terranna an answer le.. i'm still wondering if i should go.. no doubt the reason i choose to stay.. but terranna's kinda my close fren.. we shared our ups n downs working happily together b4... i realli dunno howta reject her.. i've rejected her once 2yrs ago when she hinted me her feelings.. now i've to reject her offer.. diaox.. at times i realli felt i'm being bery bad to her.. hope she forgot bout the whole offer tml.. heez.. hmm.. haiz.. dunno lah.. anyway if i choose to go there in the end, the reason is definetly not cuz of money matters..

**********13 in dilema*********

i tink i'm staying at my present office.. heez.. cuz i love all the ppl here.. each n everyone though dey may haf faults in a way or another.. n most importantly, i can stay by XB as a fren whenever she's sad.. haiz.. though it hurts me to see her lidat.. but "na shi wo ai ta de most suitable angle"
yeah tml got "ai xin zao chang" (ai xin breakfast) cuz is she prepare for me de.. so i call it ai xin zao chang.. hope in a week there's no sat or sun.. ahhah.. den i everyday got breakfast from her.. =P

wow.. i lyk her for a mth le wor.. hmm.. since 16 july 2004 till now wor.. dat's fast.. i din even realise dat..

13 sings soledad

Soledad
by Westlife

If only you could see the tears in
The world you left behind
If only you could heal my heart
Just one more time
Even when I close my eyes
There's an image of your face
And once again I come to realize
You're a loss I can't replace

(Chourus)
Soledad
It's a keeping for the lonely
Since the day that you were gone
Why did you leave me
Soledad
In my heart you were the only
And your memory lives on
Why did you leave me
Soledad

Walking down the streets of Nothingville
Where our love was young and free
I cant believe just what an empty place
It has come to be
I would give my life away
If it could only be the same
Coz I can't still the voice inside of me
That is calling out your name

(Chourus)

Time will never change the things
You told me
And after all were meant to be
Love will bring us back to you and me
If only you could see

(Repeat chourus till end)

went fisherman village for dinner wif ronald,alisa,frankie n XB.. enjoyed ourselves at there.. we ordered sooo much food siaz.. i finished my rice too fast.. alisa n Xb gave me their portion cuz they dowan too much.. i machiam lyk "fan tong" after dinner, annie n her bf came join us.. we walked over to "THE BLUE dunno wad" haahaa.. i onli noe its the same place where i celebrate her birthday. hmm we sat there eat n drink.. ordered 4 jugs n a basket of chicken wings.. i shared wif XB.. she took the drum n gave me the wing..
She brought her CD there n ask them to play.. i told her i lyk a song "Ni Shi Wo Laopo by Ren Xian Qi" den she ask me.. who i wan to be her laopo.. i told her "definetly not u" =P ahhahah..
ard 12plus we went home in annie's bf car.. ronald n alisa went wif frankie..

terranna called me n ask if i wanna hop over to her office n work.. she's offering me more than wad i get in my present.. the pay likewise is of cuz not a problem.. who dowan a job wif higher pay.. n over at her side, promotion is much much more easier than here.. haiz.. the offer looks bery tempting.. but i noe there's something dat's stopping me from hopping over.. n de reason is bcoz she's here.. i jus wanna stay by her n be there for her through her joys n sorrows..

ytd after work went down town wif alisa to meet up wif my ex classmates.. maureen,beeleng,lina,n jane.. went swensons for dinner den i go bugis meet terranna..
reach home ard 11plus siaz.. soo tired.. fall asleep after msging XB..

She got breakfast for me today wor.. soo nice.. she make garlic bread ,fried prawn n bought ice milo for me.. happi wor.. =Þ last nite she say she'll take over my breakfast duties for the time being.. heez.. yeah.. tonite we going fisherman village together wif other colleagues..

hmm.. next fri i've to take leave to pei my mom to see doc.. hope everything gonna be alrite.. den everything will go back to normal le.. after all these things happen, guess i've got no mood foranything le.. everyday jus the same.. glad Xb was there n her every small doings make me smile.. =)

i miss my bros bros.. wonder when i can get to meet up wif them go out play.. me everyday lyk so busi.. no time for anything..

ytd Xb's manager ask her if she wanna transfer to air freight centre.. i ask her so is she going.. she told me no.. kinda happi.. dunno y ytd me felt so happi bout everything.. hope tonite turns out well n sweet too..

13^trAlalalal

ytd bery happi.. i spent a nice birthday wif someone i lyk =) it was actualli a last minute thingy.. she ask if i wanna come out ard 8pm.. n i told her ok.. i went get ready n rush outta hse by 8.30.. i wanted to get some sparkles so dat can play ltr at the beach.. but couldn't find it anywhere cuz it was a holiday.. den couldn't get a cake oso.. in the end i've to take a cab to the J8.. i bought her a cake.. me stand outside the cake shop for bery long siaz.. cuz i was hesitating wad cake to get for her.. she dun lyk chocolate cake.. dat mafan de obasan.. heez.. in the end i choose a chocolate instead.. no choice lah.. hmm.. den i wanted to get her a pressie.. me walk ard.. couldn't see anything suitable.. got her a small bouquet of flowers.. nothing special actualli.. hmm.. she called me ard 9.15pm.. took a cab down to fetch her at her hse there.. while waiting at the bus stop for her call to board the cab, many ppl walk pass me wif those smiling look siaz.. so paiseh... kaoz.. my whole face turn red siaz..

finalli we reach pasir ris park.. we went to somewhere near fisherman village.. sat there drink n chat n eat.. she dinno the cake was for her.. cuz i bluff her its for my mom.. we chat till bout 10plus.. den got to noe a lady from another table.. she is a taiwanese.. she came over our table n sat down n chat.. she's quiet nice to chat wif.. glad dat XB was happi.. =) at least she wun feel so bored le ba.. heez.. i was waiting for 12am to come.. dat'll be the time where the real surprise is.. heez.. ard 11.55pm i went over to the bar counter n prepare for the cake.. i light the candles n brought the cake over while dey played the birthday song.. =) she got a nice surprise wor.. heez.. she cried.. =X diaox.. dowanna see her cry.. but there's nothing i can do..

after everything, we sat down n chat.. n she sorta ask if i lyk her.. i thought over before answering.. i'm aware of this sentence.. "luv someone, u haffa let her noe.. or else u'll regret.." finalli i confess.. i noe if she's going to avoid me, i wun regret.. cuz at least i kept some happy memories of us within me.. dat's enough for me le.. i neva wish or hope dat she'll be mine one day.. i jus hope i can stay by her through her up n downs..

13^happi

national day today siaz.. me hasn't been going out since sat le.. wanna die le siaz.. i miss XB soo much.. haf been trying to occupy myself so dat i dun miss her so much.. haiz.. tml her birthday le.. n she wun be working tml. so stoopid.. birthday can haf a day off from work.. kaoz.. den i dun get to see her.. hmm.. hope she's free so dat we can go for celebration den i can see her tml nite wor.. :P

has been chatting wif saphy on msn today.. was on the fone wif bane, angeline n saphy for a while.. den stoopid bane keep hanging up the call cuz her mom comes into the room.. diaox..

hope i can get XB outta my hrt soon.. dun lyk to miss/lyk her in silence.. dere's no way i can lyk her in open.. cuz i belief i'll definetly find rejection in the end.. she's who.. n i'm who.. she's waiting for her laugong to come back in dec.. y do i alwaiz fall for the wrong person.. kinda miss [91] sometimes.. but its better to keep memories of a person..

bored bored bored..

ytd XB took half day leave.. she msg me in the morning saying she cooking now le.. heez.. den we keep msging for awhile n i told her better stop wor.. in case she burn herself.. during lunch hour, i went out to bedok for lunch wif adele,evelyn,john,dean and karen.. went i came back office, XB is in le.. she brought the chinese meat roll for me wor.. :D dat time i was damn full le.. but she msn me n ask me to faster finish cuz she dowan let someone see the food.. hmm.. i no choice but to stuff all the 5 rolls in wor.. -_-" i told her i stuff all in le.. she look at me n laff.. kaoz.. ltr ard 5plus, we sang her a birthday song in the conference room.. ronald got her a birthday cake.. heez.. too bad i haben get a camera fone.. couldn't take a pic of her.. after the whole small celebration, i went back to my sit.. i sat there eating my cake quietly thinking bout my mom's case.. she jus got her report.. things doesn't look good.. n she haffa go for operation. XB came along n saw me sitting there.. she ask me out for a smoking break.. den we chat outside.. ltr at nite, she n annie pei me go kbox sing n drink.. cuz dey noe i luv to go.. thanks to them.. XB realli there for me everytime i needed someone..

me long time nia meet my bros le.. kriz's busi wif her newly open stall.. n jasper busi working.. haiz.. hope to meet out wif them soon..